I have a confession to make.

I HATED wedding dress shopping.

This is not to say that I hate the wedding dress I purchased a couple of weeks ago, or to say I did not have that “oh-my-god-this-is-my-dress” moment.  I LOVE my wedding dress, and I knew the moment I put it on that it would be the dress I’d go back and buy, even though I had other stores I was still going to check out.  When I say I hated wedding dress shopping, I mean I hated the process of finding the dress I will be wearing the day I stand up in front of everyone I know and promise to be with Alex for the rest of my life.

Now, I’ve always been told I shop like a man.  I’ve never been totally sure what that means, but I presume it’s a reference to the fact that I don’t really browse when I go shopping.  I have something in my head I want or need, and when I find it, I buy it (provided I’m sure I’m getting a good price).  I don’t window shop.  It’s not fun to me because there isn’t any real gratification in shopping without the intent to buy.

And upon reflection, I realized that this is precisely why I did not enjoy shopping for my wedding dress.  Even though all the focus was on me and what I wanted (at least in theory), I knew I wasn’t going to buy right away – that I was going to shop around at least a little to be SURE.  Because this is pretty much the most expensive, most important, article of clothing I’ve ever, and will ever, purchase.  Not to mention the completely uncomfortable situation brides get put into when they are trying on wedding dresses.  It’s pretty much the most mortifying thing ever.  Once I went to my appointment still dressed in a tight fitting skirt from my day at work, and was horrified to realize I was wearing a thong and the saleswoman was going to be zipping and buttoning things up my back for an hour and a half.  And never was there ever such a fantastic opportunity for all your family and friends, who have come along with you to witness the humiliation, to see precisely how much cellulite you have, and the exact pattern of freckles on your thighs.  I won’t even go into the horrors of being constantly on-guard against boobs popping out at the unsuspecting saleswoman trying to get you out of the dress you got halfway on and realized there was no way you’d ever, ever, ever like it.

I went to three stores total when I was looking for my dress.  The first one I went to was House of Botticelli, in Bronxville, NY.  I had high hopes for my experience there, because the shop had been highly recommended by a friend of mine (one of my bridesmaids) who had been in another wedding where the bride used Botticelli’s for all the dresses.  And I’m sure that bride was genuine when she said she liked the place and thought it was great.  Personally, I will never understand what the big deal is about Botticelli’s.  I was up front with them about the fact that a) it was my first time dress shopping and b) I had no idea what kind of dress I wanted.  I expected to be able to browse the samples and try on whatever I wanted.  Well… not so much.  I was brought to a dressing room where the saleswoman decided for me which dresses I should try on, and there was no opportunity to look around for myself at all!  Plus, there was a distinct aura of being rushed the whole time I was there, as if I was not at all a priority to the woman trying to sell me a $3000 dress.  I was less than impressed, to say the least.

The next place I went to was Majesty in Danbury, CT.  I was not expecting to like this shop at all, because it’s located on Main Street in Danbury, and having grown up in that area, I figured it couldn’t be very nice.  Yes, I was judging a book by its cover – so sue me!  Everyone I talked to said it was a great place, though, so I tried it.  It was the polar opposite of what I experienced at Botticelli’s.  Not only were the dresses MUCH more reasonably priced, but the dresses were out, so you could see all the options.  There was no feeling of being rushed, and while I still wasn’t having a fantastic time, I felt much more comfortable, like the process was going to be about me and my wedding day, and not the salesperson’s opinion of what me and my wedding day should be.

Finally, and I am almost embarrassed to say this because it is not at all who I am, I went to Kleinfeld’s in Manhattan.  In case you’ve never heard of the place, Kleinfeld’s is a sort-of wedding dress flagship store.  They have tons of dresses (and when I say tons, I mean literal tons), and tons of dressing rooms.  It’s also where the show Say Yes to the Dress gets filmed.  I’ll be honest, I went into that store with absolutely no intention of buying a dress there.  And I’m glad I had that mindset, because it was like Botticelli’s all over again.  You get put in a room, and they decide which dresses to show you.  I guess this method bothers me because you have to rely on the salesperson’s ability to listen to what you’d like and bring it to you – and my experience was  that this almost never goes well.

In spite of all that, I did still need a wedding dress, and I did have a really great vibe about Majesty in Danbury.  The one dress I tried on and had an immediate “I love this” reaction was there, and it was my favorite shop in terms of the way I was treated.  So I went back there a couple of weeks ago and ordered my dress and my veil, and I even selected the dress my bridesmaids will wear.

(As a sidebar, I did not cry when I put on this dress.  At first I was afraid that meant I was buying the wrong dress, because I always hear that girls cry when it’s the right dress.  Then I remembered that I didn’t cry when Alex asked me to marry him, either, and apparently you’re supposed to cry about that.  But I know Alex is the right guy for me to be marrying, so I figure if it’s OK that I didn’t cry about that, the lack of tears upon finding my wedding dress isn’t particularly revealing.)

Morgana, the woman who helped me through the whole process, is really fantastic to work with, and if you’re reading this and thinking of trying out Majesty I highly recommend that you ask for her.

In the end, I figure I’m glad I went where I went, and I’m also glad I’m done with the process of finding “the dress.”  I’m hoping I will enjoy the rest of the wedding dress extravaganza now that I’ve got one on order in my size, that I know I want.

© 2009, The Table Has Shoes (and Other Ambiguities). All rights reserved.

No related posts.