As I’ve mentioned previously, because of differences in the faiths Alex and I were raised in, we will be having a non-denominational wedding ceremony.  Neither one of us is particularly “religious,” and we both feel there will be less flack from both sides of the aisle if we stay religion-neutral.  This sounds simple enough, but it did create some adventure and stress when it came to finding someone to actually perform our ceremony.

We didn’t want a member of any religious clergy, which meant we had to find someone that could legally marry us who was NOT a priest or a rabbi.  This is not hard to do.  A simple Google search will show you loads of supposedly-ordained ministers who are non-denominational.  The trouble is sorting out who is both legit and able to create the type of ceremony you envision.  Alex and I encountered some ministers who had a problem with giving us any say over the ceremony, and others who were fine with taking our opinions into consideration.

After much searching and emailing with various ministers, Alex and I finally found someone we feel is perfect for the type of ceremony we want to have.  His name is Ryan Kaplan, and you can check out his website here.  We met with him several months ago and immediately decided to retain him for our wedding.  Ryan is legit, and we felt very comfortable with him.  He is also quite receptive to incorporating our ideas into the ceremony, which was important to Alex and I because we don’t want a “cookie cutter” wedding.

One of the ways Ryan prevents his ceremonies from being “cookie cutter” is that he asks every couple he works with to fill out a questionnaire.  The questions he asks give him insight into you as a couple, helping him to craft what he will say at the ceremony specifically for you.  Alex and I recently filled out our questionnaire and returned it to Ryan.  I’m not going to disclose what the questions were just yet, or what our answers were, but I will say this: I seriously think every couple should sit down with each other and do something like this before getting married.  ESPECIALLY if you intend to write your own vows.  I know it sounds cheesy, but answering questions for SOMEONE ELSE about your relationship and what you want/anticipate from married life reveals so much about your significant other.  I’m confident that Alex and I will have a much easier time writing our vows (yes, we are writing our own) now that we had to reflect on our relationship for Ryan!

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