He also makes a lot more money than me. So, given all of that, I know it wouldn’t be smart for ust to simply pool our money – I’d have a great wardrobe and shoe collection and running gear, and we’d have no mortgage money.

What he suggested years ago and what has always worked for us is this: 3 accounts, two separate and one joint. The joint account pays all the bills. Money gets automatically drafted from our paychecks to the joint account, which he manages. He pays a lot more than I do, but it allows us to have a much nicer house than if we were to go halves. I think the percentages do work out pretty closely.

My personal account is for me, and just me. The little bit of spending money I have is spent, guilt-free, on the sale at Express. And when the money is gone – I don’t shop. But I don’t risk spending the necessary money on the other things, either.

We have never ever fought about money, which is probably a miracle since I’m so bad with it. The worst that’s ever happened is I might get a little pouty when I realize I need to hold off on that pedicure or new outfit.

Good topic – and you guys are off on the right track because you’re doing what a lot of people don’t do – communicating about it!
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Amy Says…

Whitney, I’m with you. We have had a joint account since the beginning and there is no his/hers on any of the money. Even extra money I make from blogging or he makes from side jobs just goes in our savings account and we decide together how it will be spent. At one point I used it to buy my mac and then another he wanted our TV. It’s a give and take and I think it takes a lot of hassle and arguments out of money. We love each other and want the best for each other anyway so we want to make the money work for each other’s needs/wants. Of course before all this we use our regular income to pay bills. In fact, my husband rarely takes a look into our account. He trusts me for the every day stuff and I talk to him when there is something out of whack. I don’t know, it just works. We rarely ever fight about money even when we had just a few dollars to our name the first few years!

Amy’s website: http://www.sabennett.com/wp

To begin, I initially didn’t like the Suzie Orman idea of paying more for things just because I made more money. It felt like a progressive penalty tax. I was also afraid that I was not going to be able to save as much money for the future or be able to spontaneously take my future bride to our favorite restaurants.

But after many long tedious discussions, I began to see the light: the amount we pay is proportionally equal; in order words we each pay the same percentage of our salary for the things we share.

In hindsight, I am not sure why I reacted the way I did. I am known for having kneejerk reactions, but in my mind I seemed to resist this idea for a long time. Maybe it was a fear of feeling that I might not be able to provide for the ones I love, or the consternation that comes with losing the independent control of how I apportioned and budgeted my money. Maybe it was just a realization that I am now not just responsible for my own financial situation, but Christina’s as well.

In the end, I am confident that Christina and I will argue about money. But I am equally confident that it won’t be reason enough to break our bonds of love. We have laid a solid foundation for communicating with one another about difficult topics. And we are both are willing to make sacrifices for the other.

Now all we have to do is discuss how we wish to achieve our long-term financial goals. I am sure Christina is just overwhelmed with joy when she thinks about having these discussions with me

We’re married. Our money is married, our financial responsibilities are married… and sometimes you have to buy things like thermostats instead of that really cute hoodie or those awesome pair of running shoes that you wanted. Because when the power company tells you that you owe $500 for last month because your thermostat broke and you thought it wouldn’t be that bad if you just turned off the heat when the house got to 75 degrees, you realize…. the thermostat might not be sexy but it’s realistic.

There’s nothing particularly sexy or romantic about money (or I should say “married money”), and it doesn’t give you a warm and fuzzy feeling that you’re now linked to this person for ever and ever… but it’s a reality. More than wanting to have my financial freedom I wanted to feel like I was a contributor rather than someone who essentially paid rent to my husband. That seems worse to me. That’s why the money all goes into the big mixing pot and we just pay the bills till they’re done. It makes math easier that way too.

“Marriage isn’t 50/50, sometimes it’s 60/40 and you’re not always the 60.” My mom told me that at one of my showers. She’s right. And who cares if you pay 0.6 more than your spouse on one of the bills one month and then they pay 0.8 more than you the next month? Honestly, is that what keeps people together? Probably not…
Whitney´s last blog ..[ICB] Couch to 5K in just 9 weeks